You dating commitment phobe

Why do you need to demand so much of the person and the relationship so early on? Isn’t this all a bit like an elaborate prank that goes way too far?

While it is very flattering when someone says they love you immediately or makes you the centre of their universe immediately, the fact of the matter is that they don’t know you enough to be sincere about it. I’m not saying that you’re not a wonderful person, but aren’t we giving ourselves and them too much credit by believing that our libido, powers of judgement and observation and awareness of our own values are so powerful that we can tell immediately based on looks, sexual chemistry, penis size, words etc that we (or they) love someone? Well, we don’t like to appear to be spoil sports, many of us are not aware of the perils of red flags, and we second guess ourselves.

Also don’t you remove the mystery and stuff to look forward to when you try to do it all very quickly? If you are being fast-forwarded you will miss crucial red flags that indicate that the relationship is unhealthy.

Even without red flags, by Fast-Forwarding the relationship, you will both create great expectations that may stifle the relationship before it has a chance to prosper.

Dating is a fact finding period where you should be discovering ‘facts’ that let you work out whether you can proceed, or whether you should be cautious, and/or abort the mission.

If you love and trust blindly and get sucked into being moved along at high speed, you will be blind in the relationship when you actually have a responsibility to yourself to have your eyes open. Slowing down and actually getting to know each other at a healthier pace creates a connection.

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I’ll be honest with you – while there are anomalies where people have had a whirlwind romance that progressed, in the overwhelming majority of cases, when someone wants to be intense immediately or very quickly and fast-forwards you through the relationship, it is a red flag.

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